Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
