I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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