dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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