If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
