Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
