He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
