the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize