You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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