I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
