do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
