Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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