Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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