your thong is hanging out like whoa
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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