I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
