Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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