Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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