At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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