That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
