I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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