I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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