Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
