At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
