Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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