brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize