last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
