Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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