My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
