I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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