the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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