Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
