"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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