I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
