your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
