perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
