So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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