Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
