It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
