did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
