addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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