we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
