you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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