went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
