I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
