I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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