I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
