like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you had me at cake vodka
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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