My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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