I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize