I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
