im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
