He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
