i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize