I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
