Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
