I think I am morally bankrupt
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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