Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize