At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
