I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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