It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
