I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
