Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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